Incurable excessive inner garner

Incidence by Ruxandra Papa

There were times, most time in a day, that I dug deep and I found a resounding answer. There were times when I plunged into my inner department of thoughts and found spaces brimming with vacuum. The truth is, I want to stop this business of searching within and find an answer to every spontaneous action, which has already been my habit since a long long long time. I have been leaning more on my chaotic side recently. Not only is my bed strewn with clothes, sentences that come out of my mind are mere miserable fragments with no style, no good connection and bad taste in verbs choice. Yes, I am talking about Leseverstehen and Hörverstehen. Allow me to escort you through my painful self acclamation of brain-malfunction. After reading the text or hearing it, I roll my pen between my fingers while the wheel in my brain is (vermeintlich, supposedly) attempting to roll. However words that are then being formed are even beneath shallow. I am sorry if this entry has again turned out to be a self complaint, which I am trying very hard not to sound so by choosing my words carefully, but somehow it is what it seems now-my wheel of thoughts lack lubricant. Once again, I am disappointed, frustrated, annoyed by myself.