90%Langweiligkeit+10%Sensation

Shades of the town is changing

2008-09-22T23:46:00.000-07:00

The town is getting hotter. Heat rises up from the ground and burning the soles of people walking on it. Every corner that was once landscaped with lustrous green turned to infertile soil brown. Construction workers banging their hammers on concrete, the sound of electrical saw and metal scraping against metal-even the area around my house is changing. The sky turned crimson at dusk and sparrows flutter their wings, flying in groups, perching shortly on the tree in front of the neighbor's house. Stray dogs wagging their tails and sprawling lazily on the pavement. This part of the town has not changed. But as the sky dons on its night gown, the stars are never clearly visible with the naked eye anymore, nor with the telescope as the magnificence of celestial objects are shied away by murky clouds. A pity, a loss that would never be recovered. Shrimps can be found in the wet market with a significantly less regularity, so are the crabs and some species of fish. This town as a seafood paradise is losing its relevance. Famous restaurants and eateries no longer live up to the praises they once deserved. Instead, more and more cafes and dining places with modern furnishing, offering foreign culinary are replacing the traditional coffee shops and food stalls. Sandakan is changing its face gradually, insidiously introducing a new facade, which I could no longer trace back to the salt-smell air that I had once familiarize with.

wicky little laughter.wacky old trick

2008-09-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

I am snugging under the covers again, reading a novel and typing this entry with the lights off. This thought amuses me. It was under this familiar dim light and this same atmosphere that I have finished flipping through books on the entire bookshelf. This little secret shared with my uncle. It was an unspoken solidarity between us, recalling his act of disobedience when we were little. It makes me want to laugh. Those crazy hours we spent for books, in the name of suspense-quenching and those deprived-of-sleep-looking eyes, tears of tiredness suppressed back in a shrug and pressing on, turning page faster than a toaster popping up a bread. It was not like I am a great Stephen King fan and was making an effort to create a scary atmosphere while his story pestered me with horrifying thoughts. No, I am more of a play-safe-with-after-effects reader. Severe hushing and maternal responsibilty to keep a child in bed before midnight really are cold blankies for avid readers. I was an expert. Torch stashed under my bed, a blankie and comforter-double shielding for the light, all set up for the whole-night-read down to infinitesimal details. The thrill, the excitement...it was all too familiar. Camouflage in the dark, we call it. This is the novel I've just finished reading.
Another heart-crushing story by Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns, the disillusionment centered around abused women and hateable blood-thirst beast-like husband. Similar with the previous novel, Kite Runner, it renders one in deep-rooted sorrow and empathy. You can't really cry at the part where they execute the character with the most brutal way but there is a hand squeezing and gripping your heart. Totally stunning and beautifully woven.

Complaining about complaints

2008-08-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the light , also by Ruxandra Papa

I have to come clean now. I have a bad habit-I complain a lot, mostly about my results, not only exam and test results, but also feedback from exercises and homework. Note:mostly about my results but not only about my results, mostly about other stuff too, like towards something that I have grown an increasing dislike, distaste and resentment-PSP. I like to blame others too, if it is their fault to be blamed, indirectly, by using....(best not to say it). The worse thing is that all of these unbearable behaviors have to be bore by someone whom I have no intention at all...at all...to torture. Why do I have a tendency to swing to bad moods? (at the wake of someone) Why do I carry such sarcasm in my tone as if it's a natural way to speak? All of these I can only (once again I) blame on the eternal monthly suffering of women.

Incurable excessive inner garner

2008-08-07T00:25:00.000-07:00

Incidence by Ruxandra Papa

There were times, most time in a day, that I dug deep and I found a resounding answer. There were times when I plunged into my inner department of thoughts and found spaces brimming with vacuum. The truth is, I want to stop this business of searching within and find an answer to every spontaneous action, which has already been my habit since a long long long time. I have been leaning more on my chaotic side recently. Not only is my bed strewn with clothes, sentences that come out of my mind are mere miserable fragments with no style, no good connection and bad taste in verbs choice. Yes, I am talking about Leseverstehen and Hörverstehen. Allow me to escort you through my painful self acclamation of brain-malfunction. After reading the text or hearing it, I roll my pen between my fingers while the wheel in my brain is (vermeintlich, supposedly) attempting to roll. However words that are then being formed are even beneath shallow. I am sorry if this entry has again turned out to be a self complaint, which I am trying very hard not to sound so by choosing my words carefully, but somehow it is what it seems now-my wheel of thoughts lack lubricant. Once again, I am disappointed, frustrated, annoyed by myself.

A choice

2008-06-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

I am ruminating on events that took place two years ago..around this time...:

The colour of the sky changed;
the wind took a different course,
around the mango tree with brown fungi(which you conned me into eating).
Wheels are still rolling,
at the absence of two white rats(which you tortured in a smoking chamber);
And our days as residents under one roof turned to dust,
a whiff of smoke that never recollects,
in that living room where our laughter once roared.

Paper rolled at the edges,
ink fades on that card with all your blessings.
But words come back,
like waves returning to the shore from the deep waters
of awakening silver images.

Moments when time froze
are when goodbyes tugged the core of a softened heart,
when phone dials grew cold,
as the line went dead
with your voice ending with a helpless sigh,
during your exam,
after I left a goodbye-note on the tv,
before I took off.

My heart was heavy,
my limbs weighed like tonnes.
My conscience screamed out the unfairness,
of having not enough hours, minutes and seconds
to hear that faithful old man;
to indulge in his lecture
that explains all
all about how the universe works,
a language that makes out logic
drafts out sense
crafts out what we all know as a whole called physics.

Now I wonder how things would be
if I never got the letter,
if you never said goodbye,
if we never took that last picture together,
with eyes that reflected a strange light,
and smiles that concealed much sadness.

As an entity

2008-05-23T03:03:00.000-07:00

I focus on the lacuna and search for something to dam it up but the closer I get to the answer, the more I miss its absence. I permit laughter and liveliness to atone for valediction to rules and rigidness in life and wish for la dolce vita. By this fateful rite, I am freeing myself from this labyrinth of regulations, of perceptions of humans, of norms and of crude comments for this kismet that I have never asked for. Life is too short to be contaminated by any specks of kitsch which explains the sensibility of being lackadaisical to everything that will annihilate your positive and upbeat spirits. Having a little staunchness in everyday surprises is no kudos at all. It is what keeps the cycle of hope going. I as a humanoid sometimes approach prostration chanting complaints. All I am saying is: Live Life to the Fullest.

At the rain, a tribute to the weather

2008-04-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

Threads of water fall on my cheeks and my head, rhythmically. Like the girl in Fahrenheit 9/11, I tilt my head backwards and let the rain fall on my lips, fall on my tongue, fall on my taste buds. I take the rain on a daily dose basis. During such moments when I am lost in my thoughts, abducted among the atoms in the air, my eyes look at some distant object and my mind travels.

I am walking on the way back to the hostel without sanity and stability. My large coke in my right hand, the third refill of the day. I breathe the outside air with eagerness and I stretch my legs after six hours on that yellow stool with my burger, coke, fries and math-my numbness gives way, my senses return, my nerves rejoice. Back to my stroll:I am amused by the coolness of night, even my wobbly legs-now with more blue black patches than before-enjoy the tortuous route with a wicked slow pace. I let my drowsiness manoeuvre my limbs and the swaying of my body and I say "you are in charge.", like a pilot giving up his command.

The rain, the water in the puddles, the splashes and the vapour trailing car tyres find favour in me. Near my feet, my pants are drenched; my toes coated with sand and dirt. But all these for the pleasure of water from the sky, the best bargain I could ever have.

All about February

2008-03-01T20:16:00.000-08:00

Can I dive? Off the ravine into the narrow ribbon of glistening water. Because it is what I feel like doing now. I am so restless. I think I have this overflowing reservoir of energy and I am too jumpy to settle down and do my math. Am I developing symptoms of hyperactivity? Please... please spare me.
This month, I have been mistaken as a Malay four times which is averagely once a week by 2 taxi drivers, a KTM worker and a German. I guess my face is written with "identity crisis" all over. Is it?
Well, my life is full of yearnings and desires lately. My psycho self keep screaming "I want! I want!", looks like my third eye is opened to neurotic responses particularly stimulated by skates and smoothie.
Well, talking about the only sport that I'm doing, I've been falling with a crescendo in frequency. It's not that bad..which is why I feel a bit ambivalent about. I don't mind the blue-black patches on my knees or the consequential embarrassment when there's a resultant torque about me(actually rather thrilled with the entire experience-physics-in-real-life) but I want to move up the levels fast. I am still in beta(after pre-alpha and alpha), have to surpass gamma and delta to get into freestyle one. I just hope that next week I can get my snowplough stop fixed and perfect all the elements in alpha.
The most important thing is the fasting and praying period is starting and I've been thinking of the food that I want to abstain from partaking in a Daniel fast. This time it's going to be a vegan month with no meat, dairy products and anything that contain butter, cream, milk, eggs or cheese. It's hard...because I live on lactose but faith sprouts determination. Anyway the focus is not how I survive with my own will but how God carries me through. I'm looking forward to this exciting experience. Good things are waiting.

Relishing Solitude

2008-02-02T01:48:00.000-08:00

Ich spiele in Schweigsamkeit meine einzelne Symphonie im Gehirn, die Gott und ich zusammen komponieren.

"Freundlich ungesprochen
Du zeigst dein' Emotion
Und Schweigs'mkeit sprichst lauter als Wort'
E'ist glücklich, ich bin klug
Falls ich nicht besser wusst'
Ich hab' dar'n geglaubt, nur was ich hör' "
-Kindly Unspoken, Kate Voegele [translated]

Gravitation by Kadinsky

Lives are faces full of mimics, sketches of events. Descriptions are subjective and one's life is mystical to another. In juxtaposition to others whose lives are criss-crossed by scars of tragedy, my daily missed tunes are nothing and actually, I should be saying with assurance and gratitude that I am blessed, guarded, looked after by God.
What justifies delight? Is it cancellation of class?(expected solidarity from my classmates) Does it involve receiving a token of love from someone special? Winning a game and beating the experts? Or having hours and hours of silence, totally indifferent to strangers around? Mine is the latter. Silence is sacred in my context. It is when I feel nobody else is looking at me, only God-His eyes straight on me.
My name is spelled with close relation with God's character. I feel that I have so much more in me than I am now, to live up to that name. God has yet to unfold his plan. On one side, it is both stupefying and incredibly perplexing when someone quips how special one is, how caring, encouraging or (hypocritically) humble one appears because in my case, I was thrown off the balance. I never thought I am all the above or maybe people just say it out of politeness. Either way, it is just not how I see myself. If I was to rate myself, here goes: unwilling to mix, indifferent, social skills deficient-fits well in the category of a loner. Not that I am complaining. I cherish solitude.

Finding back

2007-12-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

Every minute that passes bid farewell to a year fading out of season, letting in the smell of another year that snakes into our noses in assimilation. Here comes one more chance to cage bad history, bad influence, bad habits and move on. Again, I'm doing this for the 20th time and trying hard to bar the feeling of cliché, to suppress the fear of facing exams that will, ultimately, settle my fate.

2007 was spent out of contact with myself. At the juncture of stepping-over, I found myself looking back and missing my quietness when it was just the scenes and me, my loneliness when it was just God and me, long nights of waiting on the stars with shadowfax, emo times when it was just music and me. I grew up believing humans are not chameleons, believing the environment will not change my colour but sometimes nature proves me wrong.

I've seen how people who face lost rely on faith, like my pastor's wife working on the hollow that her husband left in a car crash. Something changes drastically in a flick of light.
I've tasted the joy of reunion with childhood friends. Something just doesn't change despite the wearing of years.
It's mysterious that how orion is always hanging on the sky over tropical countries all year round and not change seeing acres of land and people living in it change their shapes and colours.

The realm we all live in, it's unexpected. Well, G.B.Shaw said "In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it." To me, I think even you're not afraid, danger comes looking for you nonetheless. But "the best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time. "-A.Lincoln-consider this an alternative of wishing happy new year.

the dog and the camel by Picasso

In the wake of exam

2007-11-20T04:54:00.000-08:00

Swan Lake-Skybridge-Stardust-Spirit-Steamboat-Scandal
To this semester, a semi-colon is marked at the final warning of pen-down. Exam ended in a diminuendo and post-exam celebration braced itself for a full throttle. On Friday night, my thirst for classical music was finally slaked at Philharmonic Hall, relishing Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

as every note reverberated, weaving one of the greatest ballets of all time, "Swan Lake". As the earth turns its face, Saturday morning arrives with a quest. Ascended up 41 storeys of PETRONAS twin towers

and feasted over an eagle view of hectares of land thousands of feet below. On the exact same day, Stardust stood at my disposal, a fantasy film, served, just the way I like it.
Serene Sunday creeped slowly into dimension and hither came Holy Spirit, strong in the church, a reservoir whenever I need a refill of wisdom, comfort, peace and joy in this spiritual odyssey. At night, we had a steamboat dinner, alfresco, with the seniors. Waiting at hostel gate was our dessert, a black mark for breaking curfew.

Humbling Process

2007-11-09T04:34:00.000-08:00

What does it take to bring me back? What does it take to concretise feelings? What is the ransom of revival?
Here is my answer: These few weeks.
I hereby reveal my recipe of preparing my finals:
1) A couple hours of television
2) A handful of day dreams
3) A pitcher of gaseous fluid
4) A pinch of music
5) and tons and tons and tons of dilly-dallying
And with that, I can already see what is happening in the oven. It smells like a fermented result slip.
In the humbling process, these are, painfully, the catalysts. Consequences are:acute heartache, ego collapsion.
Analysis of the results gives a sinusoidal graph, at least for today after Mechanics paper. Emotions are rockety. Confidence is buried.
Enough of this crap. What I was blabbing was------I did bad, I feel bad, I think I might continue doing bad. Not only for Mech. but for the past 10 papers I took. For each paper I took, confidence gradually peels off, the beat of doom drums resounds. Composing the symphony called "Doom of results".
So here is the turning point:
The remedy for my recuperation and vacuumisation of grief:-
1) Keep a pet in my dorm. A snake is a fine choice. I just don't know what my housemates would
think.
2) Complete one sudoku
3) Read up my NST
But most crucially, I need to talk to someone. Here is my list of choices:
1) My teddy, Nicholas Corpernicus

2) My sheep, Wilbur Wright
3) The Orang Utan on the poster in my bedroom
4) The mirror, Grace Ham
5) The air, Mr. Oxygen and Ms. Carbon Dioxide
Na ja, why bother? I have someone better in mind. I need to talk to Him. Yo God, here I come. If I were to shed a tear, let it be when I am in Your arms. If I were to fall, let it be one chance for You to pick me up again.
I take the deal, God. I accept the humbling process.
With one condition:pick me up next semester.

Bibel klingt gut auf Deutsch

2007-10-15T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hier möchte ich gerne ein Zitat aus der Bibel zeigen.

Psalm 23 - Lutherbibel

Ein Psalm Davids

1 Der HERR ist mein Hirte, mir wird nichts mangeln.
2 Er weidet mich auf einer grünen Aue und führet mich zum frischen Wasser.
3 Er erquicket meine Seele. Er führet mich auf rechter Straße um seines Namens willen.
4 Und ob ich schon wanderte im finstern Tal, fürchte ich kein Unglück;
denn du bist bei mir, dein Stecken und Stab trösten mich.
5 Du bereitest vor mir einen Tisch im Angesicht meiner Feinde. Du salbest mein Haupt mit Öl und schenkest mir voll ein.
6 Gutes und Barmherzigkeit werden mir folgen mein Leben lang, und ich werde bleiben
im Hause des HERRN immerdar.

lost sheep by Soord

Psalm 23 - King James

A Psalm of David

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest
my head with oil: my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

First Love

2007-09-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

I thought of the things I love. Things I liked and like. Then I find this undefine difference between these 2 polarised groups.
Many say first cut is the deepest and first love is the sweetest. That, I could emphathize. I woke up today and saw the sky like a painting of Van Gogh's and I know someone up there who loves me so much. As the earth spins on its axis, so does a person's character save this one. As the sun rises and sets, so does love, except my God's love.
Recently, I've grown an affinity to draw my table but the cleaner always come when I was gone and rub off every stroke, leaving my table as shiny as ever, as spotless as it was first made. On one crummy day, I drew a cliff and the statue of liberty with puff of smoke escaping the World Trade Centre with heading "What I did on September 11". Then I went to lab, came back and found all these feelings engraved art of mine washed off. It's somehow more than just reversing vandalism. I felt as if I laid down my sorrow and grief. Then a fairy came and took it all away, my God bought my art and my feelings.
Now, I think of what a person does for his/her lover. He shares the other's feelings, he is always there for the other regardless of circumstances, he pours out unconditional, sacrificial and unfailing love, expecting no return. Then I thought of a person who did, does, will do all these for me. I already found my first love and my forever love.
This time I drew on my table again: a teddy, a banana and a cross under the caption "THEY CARE".

Beer Tankards

2007-08-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

Here I am, savouring the ticking of seconds at the crack of a new day, thinking about dreams and pillows, noise and laughter, music and movies, jokes and joy. The silence is tangible and the scarce stillness invites the wandering of thoughts. One minute passed, the clock shows 2:47am. The soup of mini maggie that lubricated the drought in my throat releases an onion-scented gas simultaneously, hot liquid bubbles inches down the esophagus.
More than a year.
God took time to answer my prayer and He took more than a year.
When I was little, a Sunday school teacher told me that every Christian has a cup. You fill that cup with your prayer and someday when that cup is full, the blessings will be overflow, pouring out unto you. Back then, I was thinking of some pranks my sister used to pull, showering me with a basin full of water when we were watching dad's car. When I became older, I wonder how deep is my cup and fearing a beer tankard with words "Grace's praying cup" on it. I would love to have those tiny glass my gran used to drink her Yomeishu as my praying cup. Then I would just need to pray for a few times for the contents to be overflow.
But I soon realized my prayers do not work like the tiny Yomeishu glass. For a year, I prayed for relationships to be mended and reconciliations and now, I gasp at the wonder of God's timing and his miraculous weaving in the linkage of human bonds. One year ago I wanted things for reasons ignorant of reasoning. When things started going wrong, I interlocked my fingers and pleaded for an instantaneous fix from God. He knows me too well to feed charcoal to a hot head like me. He gave me time to cool my head, allowing sense to blend into my wishes. Now I see the whole picture which back then was all just smudges of paint. Blotchy, vague and desperate for a theme.
The more you fill in, the more it is poured out. The larger the brim, the greater the shower. The bigger the size, the more you can fill in. Somehow now I feel glad that I do not have that tiny Yomeishu glass. At least, mine has a greater volume, spaces to intercede for others, higher capacity to accommodate the needs of others into my prayer item list and using it to serve God. Thank God for His timing, for His thoughts and His ways and Jesus Christ, dearest and most beautiful of all name.
Cheers to beer tankards =)

Who am I to judge?

2007-07-26T23:14:00.002-07:00

"Who are you to condemn someone else's servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or wrong. And with the Lord's help, they will do what is right and will receive his approval." Romans 14:3

Human's eyes seek out for imperfection. Hunting flaws might have unknowingly, fueled by humans' innate characteristics, insidiously become human's pastime. I am not saying that there's no saintly thoughts or there's no one whose "super-ego", proposed by Sigmund Freud-a highest set of thoughts in the mind, speaks louder than its Id, but random comments like "hey, I really don't like my Chem. lecturer. She is so and so and so." are easily picked up all around us.
In a Christian life, one might prone to have the tendency of dropping comments on how well the musicians have done on a Sunday worship and on some cranky days, maybe a few slipped notes or pitch deviations. People like to judge on the outcome, especially of others' efforts, voicing up when the frequencies of perceived visuality do not come in flavours of their expectations or rather, what they schemed as a should-be way of things turning out to be. But just for the reasons that others do not swing at your frequency doesn't mean that you could not oscillate. Just because that you'll not approved of the way people do things or that you'll not be in resonance with them does not mean that they are not oscillating the right way for others!
God is the sovereign judge and only in Him lies his standard of judging. Do we have the right to citicize our friends or our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? Are you feeling ego enough to think that you can play God and do His job?
God promised to help us to do what is right and what He is approved of. So why follow others' expectation. Remember that God's ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts higher than ours. Who can justify His standards except He Himself?

God's Grace-a testimony

2007-06-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

It is not easy knowing the 2 meanings behind "the grace of God" in any hymn: one being the very characteristic of God; another being a personal interpretation when your name is by birth "Grace", because you get hit by a bizarre wind of embarrassment when the congregation goes all teary and squeezes every juice of adoration from their heart unanimously voice "by the grace of God".
Of course what they mean is genuinely the first meaning and it is only sensible when one is so egoistic to fantasize this has any relation to one coincidence but at least, I think the fact that my dad insisted on this plain, one syllabus name even before I lose my umbilical cord has to do with something. Honestly I do pity my dad a fair lot because he apparently had not considered the biggest probability in the name of statistics that his daughter is not going to be all "pleasantly polite" or possessing any "quality of moving in a smooth, relaxed and attractive way" of which, according to Cambridge dictionary, defines the name. Anyway, in fact, it turned out that I can manage baggage as heavy as I weigh and I say, this is a satisfaction that every fiber of my muscle shares.
Here is the story:
Among all the most glorious brilliance of saving up some 50 smackers of cab fare to the airport, once again I risked a foreseeing osteoporosis in my fifties and performed this "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" feat of luggages-heaving from my fourth-floor room down the narrow steps, out the hostel gate and perspired along a journey of a thousand steps towards the bus stop only to realize my not-so-portable-invention-of-the-21st-century telecommunication device a.k.a mobile phone, was stashed in this brown cardboard box all sealed up and Sello-taped three times. Retrieving it means ripping off the seal, missing the bus and an extra walking trip with the luggage just to enhance muscles building. Of all the forces of nature, gravity couldn't be more lucid then.
So, I couldn't recognize this was all God's arrangement sending me this message of "God's grace", especially not after suffering that spice up my spine under the load with thunder in the background. Honestly, I started thinking about the essay I wrote during English test "the day when everything went wrong" and only if I had experienced this earlier, I would definitely get an extra kick of realism and earned some extra marks. It was not supposed to rain. I have got these water phobic stuff alfresco-my laptop, my violin and these clouds chose to disintegrate just for a little plague unto me.
An old Chinese lady with this "cabbage" hair style like my grandma came and spoke manglish(instead of Chinese) to me, reassuring my deceiving facade as a race-confusion. I thought it was just one lucky smacker I saved when she made a deal to sell me a second-hand bus ticket. But she turned out carrying my violin up the steps of the bus for me which was much appreciated because I was truly suspecting some concussion at the vibrating stems or whatever musical technical terms people uses when it banged against my 18kg-pulley-bag. She told me tales of her childhood during Japanese and British colonial times, inadequacy of food in the convent school she went, the pain in her legs, her solitude life, her efforts in self haircutting, dress-sewing and how those lucky notes she picked off the ground being God's provision for her to continue her retired life after 70 years of weather wash. She is so like my granny with those sympathetic eyes and skin like fried wanton except that she does not believe in marriage.
I knew that I needed to do something different that night I spent at the airport. I met a kid reading "Puteri Rimba" who couldn't stop smiling at me and I pushed my trolley out near McDonald's and slept on top of my luggage. In the morning before my flight, I managed to yank 6 smackers out of my nearly empty wallet for a muffin thanks to the thief in GMI who reduced my fortune by 80 smackers.
Just to be frank, I do not get strangers who pop up and share life stories with me on a daily basis and say things like "I will pray for you" without even asking for my prayer needs. I really felt loved by this old lady and the tears I shed on the bus after she saw me off was truly because I was touched. One day, I am going to be just like her, praying for people, loving unconditionally and showing God's grace, be a walking "Grace of God" and becoming perfectly his.

Those who believe by faith are the smartest =)

2007-03-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

conclusion formed based on observations and assumptions.
Some say, law is created based on experiments and researches.
But in researches and experiments, they are nothing but more observations and assumptions

Assumptions of observations build up many laws, theories, principles .
Laws, theories and principles build up science.

Brownian Motion
By observing Brownian Motion, we conclude that:
Gas particles have erratic(irregular, uncertain or without organization in movement or behaviour) and random(happening, done or chosen by chance rather than according to a plan) motion
Without having to see the particles (down to microscopic view) moving randomly, we believe the conclusion is true.
Even when we see it using high power electron microscope, it would also prove that the final conclusion is the same as
The conclusion made under observation of smoke cell under ordinary microscope.

Sometimes, it's not necessary to dig down to the bottom to know something is there.
Because we see its effects.
Just like Brownian motion, we needn't an electron microscope to tell us the particles move randomly.
We needn't see molecules colliding each other to believe in the Kinetic Theory of Gas.
Just like we needn't see God in physique to know that He exist because we can see His works before our eyes.
Just like Brownian motion, it's so obvious when we see the smoke move around to all spaces of the cell. It's sufficient to tell us it's moving randomly.
Exactly like God. It's so obvious when we see the creation of this earth. The stars in the sky, the mountains and the oceans are sufficient to tell us God exist.
Why are we so stubborn in insisting referring to electron microscope?
We can be like Newton. Just observing an apple fall from a tree to know gravity exist, not making our way to the core of the earth to prove gravity exist!
Science is great.
It builds civilisation.
But science is telling us:Be smart. Analyse observations and apply it and see if it's true!
Thus: See what God has done. Accept Him in your lives and see what He can
work in your lives!
Like Benjamin Franklin:He sees lightning in the sky by observation. He made an assumption
that electricity can be produced by lightning. Next, he drew lightning
using a kite and test it. Then it is true!
He started by believing what he assumes and test it. Then he found out it works!
See, many scientists encourage us to first believe in whatever that is not yet being proved using human intuitive senses.
Believing first is the first to discover something great and awesome.
Believing in Jesus is the first step to discovering how great your life can be with His presence.

By the way, isn't it better to see the effect of something real than seeing the source of the effect to prove that it works?
Even you see God in physique without seeing all that He has done, you do not know what He is capable of!

Boredom

2007-03-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

Define boredom.
A)Nothing happened except lessons according to time table=boredom?
B)Waking up everyday, finding life back from fantasies=boredom?
C)Meeting same faces, seeing same people doing same things=boredom?

C more bored than B more bored than A
C>B>A
Ultimate Boredom=C³+B²+A=Y

Another Perspective
A)Nothing happened except lessons according to time table-decrease fuss on time management
B)Waking up everyday, finding life back from fantasies-creates visions to motivate one in life
C)Meeting same faces, seeing same people doing same things-0% of missing their presence, can be cherished

Pleasure of C>B>A
Ultimate Pleasure=C³+B²+A=X

X=Y
.
. . Ultimate Pleasure=Ultimate Boredom

Conclusion:In every boredom, there is pleasure. Increase degree of boredom, increase degree of pleasure.

Pleasure directly proportional to Boredom

Pleasure α Boredom

Pleasure=k(Boredom), k=constant

since X=Y, Ultimate Pleasure=Ultimate Boredom, k=1